A love note for a day when you or your teen are feeling like a hot (or not so hot) mess, all over the place and the opposite of together.
The past week I’ve felt like a hot mess more days than not, just kind of off (with my brain not connecting that well).
A little more tired, a little less motivated, and occasionally teetering on the edge of depression. Dandruff is worse and there’s a spot on my nose that’s breaking out; my pants feel a little tight. Things I know that aren’t really important I’ve found irritating, and I’ve been a little snappier at everyone. Bleh.
I could frown harder at myself and wonder what’s my problem (because clearly I have one). I could start really thinking about my weight and decide I need to get serious about getting it all together (which would include losing a few pounds). That’s definitely an option, though I know it’s not a great option. If I go that route, nothing will change. I’ve tried it many, many, many times just to be sure. Beating up on myself = staying in the feeling crappy zone longer.
Now, that doesn’t mean it’s easy to go in the other direction. That suddenly I can “get happy!” and then stay there. I don’t think that would actually be a good way to go either, happy all the time without ever having a speck of feeling crappy — I don’t think that actually exists. Sometimes we do feel crappy or off or something less than awesome. Not because life has gotten terrible or we’re doing anything wrong — life is just life. Maybe it’s just that there are bumps in the road, and we’re feeling the bumps. Maybe the bumps and feeling off are indicators to look a little harder or change something up.
Thus this past week, I’ve been trying to remind myself of this. Bumps happen. Hot mess times happen. It’s okay.
Yes, everyone is a mess sometimes. No one has it all together all of the time. No matter how perfect they look in their social media feed or how awesome their life looks or how much they tell you “It’s all going great!!” — they have hot mess days. It happens to us all. I’m getting more and more convinced it’s part of being human.
A while back, I had a photo shoot with a friend a few years ago. She was doing test shoots for a new service: women’s glamour sessions. My friend is a fabulous photographer. I came away with some great photos. I love looking at them. AND — they remind me of all of this, that no one has it all together all of the time.
I spent 90 minutes in hair and makeup with a professional makeup artist, two hours in the shoot with direction on how to stand and where to look (plus help with my outfits, jewelry, and moving my hair just so, including the assistance of a fan), and then who knows how long my friend spent on touching up the images.
The photos came out fantastic. The woman in them looks very together and poised. And — they are not 100% Robin.
I don’t look that perfect. No one does. When I start feeling out of whack, all over the place, and think I’m the only mess in the world, the photos are a good reminder to me that no one is perfect, though we can certainly make it look like we are.
Life is bumpy and life is messy. And on the most fundamental level, we are doing okay. Even on the hot mess days.
On a related side note, I have a newfound empathy for fashion models. Good grief, that must be a hard job. I was sore the next day after posing. I’m glad that’s not my job.