Thoughts for a day when you or your teen are feeling off:
If you’re feeling messy, unsure, afraid, irritable, angry, sad, or anything that seems like a “bad” feeling*, it’s totally okay. Absolutely, totally, completely okay.
All emotions and feelings are valid — how you feel is how you feel.
You’re not alone. There is at least one someone else out there feeling that kind of feeling too.
You’re not crazy, broken, bad, or wrong. (You’re marvelously human!)
And if you decide you want to change up how you’re feeling, you can. Always.
If you want an idea for a direction to head, think about what would feel better right now, maybe even good. Do something to head in that direction. Or think about something you really, really appreciate, and how good it feels when you’re feeling that appreciation. And focus on that feeling and how good it feels for as long as you can. And then if the prior situation needs to be revisited, revisit it and see how it looks now.
If you start feeling how you’d rather not again, that’s totally okay. You can always practice again on changing it up.**
You’re doing great. Really.
*On the “bad” feelings — oh boy, the idea that there are “bad” feelings kind of seems like an overused ruse to get us thinking something is wrong so maybe we’ll buy something because clearly we need to feel something “acceptable” (though curiously there are only a few emotions that fall into the “acceptable” range and even these emotions can only be felt so much). Feelings and emotions are just feelings and emotions — valid, legit, and how we feel in the moment. Think of how you feel as information about a situation, a pointer into the direction to head next (or not).
**There is no “there” when you’ll always feel “good” and never ever again feel off. Sometimes off and cranky and angry and the like happen. Shit happens. Life happens. We’re human. The magic lies in getting that we can change it up a million and a half times — whenever we want to feel differently. (And the more you practice feeling stuff that feels good to you, the easier it’ll get to start feeling better when you find yourself in a pit of off and muck.)