I’m talking with someone else. We share thoughts and opinions. Perhaps my blood boils: “That was personal!”
Nothing is personal. It really isn’t.
Unless you want it to be personal. And then everything can be personal.
A lovely thing about this human experience: We have the choice.
“But wait — it IS personal!” Ever here? I know sometimes I am.
I try to slow my roll and ask myself: “Is it, really? Does the other person 100%, without a doubt — do they know exactly where I am and why I’m thinking what I’m thinking?”. Because if it’s personal, they’d have to know all of that about me so that it would be personal. And the response (which sometimes I hate to hear) comes: “No, they can’t know; none of us can know 100%, without a doubt, exactly where someone else is at — because we are not that other person”. And if they can’t know? It can’t really be personal…
Whatever another says is more about where they are at (like what I say is more about where I am at, what I’m thinking about, how I’m feeling).
I can see if there is anything useful and constructive to learn, take it (or leave it all) — and then continue on with eyes in my own lane. I don’t have to put energy into taking it personally (which doesn’t really seem to benefit me or the other person). I can use that energy for something that moves me forward.
Want more food for thought on other people? Check out this post: Other People.