On Trying New Things

On Trying New Things

My oldest (now 18!) is one of my greatest teachers. I’ve known her now for 13 years, 10 of which I’ve been her stepmom, and little did I know that in getting to know her and be part of her life, it’d help me to grow up a little (or a lot) more myself. While painful at times, I’m appreciative to be where I’m at now.

Some of my favorite posts are ones I’ve written to her. Though kind of funny — the posts ended up probably being more things I needed to hear/work through myself.  In realizing how much I’ve liked those letters (and how easily they flowed out onto the page), I’ve started a project called “Letters to Lexie” where I’m writing down these notes to self that have been most mission critical for me to learn, and that if I can offer anything, I’d offer these to her and her peers as they head out of childhood and into the next phase of life: the world of adulting.

Today I’m sharing a letting on trying new things and feeling “ready.” As I read through it again right now, as a parent and adult, I can see the universe nudging/shoving me to think about this for myself and where I’m waiting until I’m 100% ready, as well as think about it while watching her make more and more of her own decisions — and checking myself when I or my opinions are getting in the way. My fear does not belong on her. If it feels important to share it with her I can, though I need to remember that any fear and opinions — they are mine.


Dear Lexie,

Hey — quick note. There is no 100% ready — for anything: trying a new project, making a new friend, making a big decision, etc.

This isn’t to say rush into things without thinking. However, it’s a note that there is no 100% place anyone gets to and is “there” for good. So waiting until you feel “100% ready” before trying something new? You’ll be waiting forever.

Instead, perhaps, go for listening inside.* Do you feel contracted or expansive? If things somehow feel like they are closing in, clenching up, heavy — perhaps it’s not yet the time to try or direction to go (contracted can be a “no”). Do things somehow feel expansive, widening, open? Consider that you may be seeing a green light.


*If you’d care for some thoughts on that nebulous idea of “listening to your gut,” this video by Marie Forleo offers a thoughtful (and, to me, humorous) perspective: https://www.marieforleo.com/2011/08/fear-intuition-difference

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