My oldest (now 18!) is one of my greatest teachers. I’ve known her now for 13 years, 10 of which I’ve been her stepmom, and little did I know that in getting to know her and be part of her life, it’d help me to grow up a little (or a lot) more myself. While painful at times, I’m appreciative to be where I’m at now.
Some of my favorite posts are ones I’ve written to her. Though kind of funny — the posts ended up probably being more things I needed to hear/work through myself. In realizing how much I’ve liked those letters (and how easily they flowed out onto the page), I’ve started a project called “Letters to Lexie” where I’m writing down these notes to self that have been most mission critical for me to learn, and that if I can offer anything, I’d offer these to her and her peers as they head out of childhood and into the next phase of life: the world of adulting.
Today I’m sharing a letting on trying new things and feeling “ready.” As I read through it again right now, as a parent and adult, I can see the universe nudging/shoving me to think about this for myself and where I’m waiting until I’m 100% ready, as well as think about it while watching her make more and more of her own decisions — and checking myself when I or my opinions are getting in the way. My fear does not belong on her. If it feels important to share it with her I can, though I need to remember that any fear and opinions — they are mine.
ON TRYING NEW THINGS
Dear Lexie,
Hey — quick note. There is no 100% ready — for anything: trying a new project, making a new friend, making a big decision, etc.
This isn’t to say rush into things without thinking. However, it’s a note that there is no 100% place anyone gets to and is “there” for good. So waiting until you feel “100% ready” before trying something new? You’ll be waiting forever.
Instead, perhaps, go for listening inside.* Do you feel contracted or expansive? If things somehow feel like they are closing in, clenching up, heavy — perhaps it’s not yet the time to try or direction to go (contracted can be a “no”). Do things somehow feel expansive, widening, open? Consider that you may be seeing a green light.
Love,
Robin
*If you’d care for some thoughts on that nebulous idea of “listening to your gut,” this video by Marie Forleo offers a thoughtful (and, to me, humorous) perspective: https://www.marieforleo.com/2011/08/fear-intuition-difference
