My human heart hurts when I hear about a suicide. Two have been in the news this past week and more have happened I haven’t heard about.
RIP, Kate and Anthony (and all of those whose names I don’t have). Thank you for sharing your light with this world.
A perspective I read from a woman who lost her husband to suicide: https://thewidowproject.blogspot.com/2018/06/kate-made-me-live-colorfully.html
I appreciated her thoughts.
I’m also rolling around Jim Carrey’s definition of depression:
Depression is your body saying f*ck you, I don’t want to be this character anymore, I don’t want to hold up this avatar that you’ve created in the world. It’s too much for me…think of the word ‘depressed’ as ‘deep rest.’ Your body…needs deep rest from the character that you’ve been trying to play.
Rather than wrack our brains on final moments, why, what was missed/off/whatever (which we can never know!!), what if the best thing we can do today to support our kids, to help heal in this world a smidge, is to look at our own avatars, to dare to open our eyes and see what doesn’t fit for us? To look for the avatars we’re pushing towards our children? And to put them down and rest for a second? And maybe try something completely different, ask for help, let ourselves not know what to do for one hot second if we aren’t sure rather than force an answer (and allow the space for others to not know, too)?
Our most precious job is to take responsibility for our own lives, to see where we’ve been trying to fit in, to (re)learn to belong to ourselves, to rest. And then to practice holding space for the next person (and if they are open and interested, offer support in the way they’d like rather than what we think they need).
Life is messy. There are no Fs. What feels good/better TO YOU?
There is no way to do this life wrong. Whatever our experience, we ALL are doing this life thing okay.
And if these numbers help:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 (US) and Text HOME to 686868 (Canada)