After reading my thoughts on positive thinking (Positive Thinking Or Micromanaging? Let’s Talk Baby Steps), my teen found herself examining some of her own thoughts and experiences — and had this to share about relationships, dating, breakups, and the “think positive!” advice she’s received.
Love Me Those Breakups
It may sound strange, but as painful as breakups can be, I appreciate them as well. Breakups give me a chance to learn about myself, and I always end up more confident in the end once I get past the initial slump.
Relationships and boys are probably some of the very few things that almost always send me in a spiral when things go sideways. My thoughts feel like a tornado and even though it’s my tornado, I’m not in the eye but the thick of it all. You’re probably wondering how this relates to anything, but this is where I always get the “positive thinking” advice from people.
“You’ll find a great guy someday!” is the most common “think positive!” one that I hear. It isn’t that I doubt that because I believe I surely can someday, but I’d almost rather experience some mediocre ones in the meantime. I want that roller coaster to kick back up because that’s how I improve myself and keep learning and refining what I want. It helps me to improve my radar for what feels good to me in a relationship and what doesn’t while giving me practice to leave when something feels wrong.
Experience provides a process of elimination of sorts when it comes to what direction you want to go in, and rather than always trying to gloss over the lows in life quickly, sometimes taking them as lessons, experiencing the spiral, and then riding them through ends up helping you overcome them faster going forward.