We remember what we repeat. We internalize what we rehearse.Marie Forleo
What are we saying to ourselves (or others) that our kids are hearing and taking in (and perhaps on)? Is it something we’d be glad to hear coming out of their mouths — or not? “I’m so out of shape/I need to go on a diet/I can’t do this/I don’t have enough time/I appreciate your help/I tried something new today…it didn’t work out as I’d planned and I’m disappointed, but I’m going to try again tomorrow.”
This isn’t about shoving down feelings or pretending all is great when it’s not. Nah, that doesn’t tend to end super well. Rather, it’s about becoming aware of our thoughts (especially the ones on repeat), where we’re focusing our mental (and emotional) energy, and considering if our current brain space is useful and helping us…or not so much. And when not so much, it’s about helping us train our brains (it’s like a muscle — we’ve got to practice!), and helping our kids learn to do so, too, to look for things that are going well, possibilities, and solutions — because in the direction of these sorts of thoughts is where we’ll more likely find what we’re hoping for (and if nothing else, feel less stressed and cranky, which is a win in and of itself).
If you’re looking for some mental reframe ideas, try these on:
*Life is messy — for everyone.
*Okay, I’ve found another way that doesn’t work. Great — cross that one off the list. Let’s try again.
*Everything is figureoutable.
*Do I want this to be a big deal?
*What if I consider that maybe it’s not personal?
*Change takes time and is going to feel different — because it IS different.
*There is no “there” to get to.